Because, sometimes you just have to get in the washing machine and hide away from everyone. |
Is it me or is the world particularly deranged
this month? I mean, more than usual for 2020. You know shit’s not right when you
see the actual president of the United States utter the words, ‘Show me the
deaths chart,’ in a TV interview. Like it’s a totally normal thing to say, too.
Show. Me. The deaths chart.
Meanwhile, Bulgaria’s embroiled in yet another
corruption scandal. And the bag-of-grey-skin-and-red-hot-narcissism that serves
as the UK’s prime minister says the country’s response to coronavirus shows off
the ‘sheer might’ of the UK. Sheer might? SHEER MIGHT? To paraphrase
that scene in When Harry Met Sally, I’ll have what he’s having.
And why, for the love of God, can’t anyone in
Bulgaria wear a mask properly. It’s not a chin strap. I get it, masks are uncomfortable,
especially in the heat. But when you wear it around your chin you literally
have all the discomfort of strapping something to your face in hot weather with
NONE OF THE FUCKING BENEFITS.
Anyway, this is why I’m staying indoors for
the next, oh I don’t know, forever, and making chutney. Last weekend was mango
chutney (mangoes being a rare find in the shops, and mango chutney even rarer).
This weekend, I’ll be making a beetroot, apple and onion chutney with our first
beetroot harvest of the summer.
OOOh, and we harvested the first of our spuds.
We haven’t bothered growing spuds for years, but I can’t think why. It’s so fun
squirreling around in the earth and coming up with big spuddy nuggets – like panning
for gold, only with more starch. Today we’ll be throwing some spuds on the
barbecue, along with veggie sausages, and generally congratulating ourselves on
living in the middle of nowhere away from all the batshit craziness.
But if this madness continues, I might have to
further isolate myself and get in the washing machine with Iggy. He may be our
dumbest cat, but he’s got the right idea there.